


in my hand a tangled thread

by Anonymous



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Black Romance, F/F, Ladystuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-29
Updated: 2011-12-29
Packaged: 2017-10-28 11:21:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/307346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AA: does it take effort to be this obstinately difficult and destructive or does it just come naturally<br/>AA: disregard that i just remembered who i am talking to</p>
            </blockquote>





	in my hand a tangled thread

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sunspeared](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunspeared/gifts).



> Disregard everything that has occurred in Act 6 - this is completely AU post-EOA5.

apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

AA: does it take effort to be this obstinately difficult and destructive or does it just come naturally  
AA: disregard that i just remembered who i am talking to  
TT: I beg your pardon?  
AA: oh so now you choose to stop ignoring us  
TT: There is no collective you in this instance.  
AA: your friends miss you  
TT: That is none of my concern, nor is it yours.  
AA: i suppose blowing up game constructs is your concern then  
TT: I began my crusade to dismantle the game from the inside out in the previous session. I intend to see it through to completion.  
AA: rose i know you just want to help everyone  
AA: but youre not a player in this session and there are things you probably shouldnt mess with  
AA: you intend to speak to cetus right  
TT: I let myself get sidetracked last time. I do not intend to make the same mistake.  
AA: look i dont hear the horrorterrors like you do but i did once hear the voices of the dead  
AA: just because they will not lie to you doesnt mean you should necessarily heed their advice  
AA: rose are you still there  
TT: I liked you more when you were dead.

tentacleTherapist [TT] blocked apocalypseArisen [AA]

AA: what  
AA: you  
AA: argh

  
==  


\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

TG: yo  
TG: radia said she got a hold of you  
TG: its cool you dont need to say a thing  
TG: shhh no words now  
TG: we found your mom  
TG: well kinda  
TG: she doesnt appear to be a bastion of passive aggressive wit or a fount of wizardly lore  
TG: but her breath smells kind of boozy so weve made a positive id  
TG: we left john and jade on lohan with her grandpa  
TG: grandson  
TG: whatever  
TG: shit we have the most fucked up family tree  
TG: it is us  
TG: next thing you know itll turn out im my own stepmom somehow  
TG: ill lock myself in the cellar and make me scrub the floors while i go to the ball to seduce prince charming  
TG: have a field day with that metaphor  
TG: wait wait needs more phallic objects  
TG: ok so my fairy godmother uses her magic wand to turn me into a pretty princess is that homo enough for you  
TG: by the way dont be surprised if you return to find captor has taken your notmoms hand in hateful matrimony after having hate knocked her up  
TG: which is apparently a thing  
TG: captor is the hacker troll who hates everyone and is also maybe dead somehow dont know if you remember him  
TG: notmom is like a weird teen alcoholic hacker savant  
TG: it really chafes his nuts  
TG: yeah ok yeah so i did split from john and jade  
TG: dont worry theyll be just fine  
TG: davesprites with them hell take care of them  
TG: just kidding hows he gonna do that hes still like two inches tall  
TG: im kicking these right over the plate lalonde i hope you appreciate all i do for you  
TG: but vantas will have a rage aneurysm if they try to do anything really dumb  
TG: so  
TG: no worries there  
TG: welp theres your update  
TG: you just keep doing whatever it is youre doing  
TG: were all doing fine on our own

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

TG: god fucking dammit rose

  
========  


"Excuse me," you mutter under your breath, and quietly take your leave of the group.

Everything is too damn bright. It overwhelms your senses and settles in the pit of your stomach, displacing nausea and bile up into your throat. Everything is aglow, blazing. Everything is green.

"Rose," Dave says, his fingers reaching out to pluck gently at your elbow, then trailing away. "Rose, they're saying we need you to pilot the meteor to the new session."

You turn to face him. His outline is golden and tremulous. You push your hood up away from your eyes.

========

apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

AA: poor scared little seer of light  
AA: using her powers to find the dark places in which she can hide  
TT: I'm sorry, I thought you were the resident expert on everything here. My powers don't actually work that way, and you know it. Or should I reevaluate everything I once thought I knew about you?  
TT: In addition, it would be exceedingly foolish of me to think that you couldn't divine my location by the trail of destruction I've left in my wake.  
AA: were not going to track you down if you dont want to be found  
AA: daves just a little upset that we cant find you through the trollian viewport  
TT: If my brother has a grievance with me, he can bring it to me himself, without the aid of a mediating party.  
AA: hes not going tell you himself and you know it  
TT: I do know this. I also do not need your assistance in divining the nature of his displeasure with my actions. Do not presume to think you can know my own brother better than I do.  
AA: i dont really understand this human family thing  
TT: That much is apparent.  
AA: but dave is my friend too and im going to be supportive of him  
TT: I would not endeavor to prevent you from doing so.

tentacleTherapist [TT] blocked apocalypseArisen [AA]

  
========  


"We'll be there in about another hour," Dave says.

"Yes," you agree. The trailing stars still burn, exploding across your vision, but the farther the green sun retreats, the more relief it brings. You could reach out across the streaks of light, you think, wrap them around your fingers and twist and pull. You could grasp the future and reshape it until it suited your needs.

Except for the fact that you know you can't. You can look through the glowing strands of the future, but they remain ever out of reach. You close your eyes and all you see is that green glow, shrunk now to the size of a pinprick.

"We're right on course to land on the battlefield on Skaia, and meet up with John and Jade," Dave says.

"Yes," you agree. You push your hood up away from your face again, more a force of habit than meaningful action.

He clears his throat. "I know we Strider-Lalondes have a long and proud tradition of not talking straight with anyone about our feelings, but-"

"Yes," you interrupt. You feel his withdrawal with every fiber of your being, although he doesn't move an inch.

You had been seeking oblivion. Your whole self had rent and torn and reshaped itself in darkness, and you saw the end in sight, and you had reached out to take it -- and emerged a being of light. The dichotomy could sever you down your axis if you let it.

"When we meet John and Jade on Skaia, I shall be leaving," you tell him. "You stay and protect them for me."

"But-" Dave starts. You place your fingers on his lips to silence him.

"You will protect them for me," you say.

"Of course," he agrees.

  
========  


apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

AA: you know for a seer you see so very little  
TT: Oh, sure, make fun of the blind girl.  
AA: what  
AA: i was not including terezi in that statement in any way  
AA: unlike certain people i could name she is actually helpful  
AA: wait  
AA: are you saying youve gone blind  
TT: Effectively.  
AA: oh  
AA: i wasnt expecting that actually  
TT: You ought to have. It carries so much narrative resonance it was practically inevitable.  
AA: did you expect it  
TT: What I was and was not expecting to happen is a non-issue.  
TT: Let us guide the course of our conversation to more pressing matters, shall we?  
TT: Namely, your insistence on beginning each of our conversations with an admittedly scathing yet ultimately empty remark.  
TT: Once, I might have thought better of you, but now I see that provisory vote of confidence was misplaced indeed.  
AA: you certainly can use a great deal of words to travel a very short distance  
AA: i believe i see your meaning loud and clear but for the sake of clarity i shall ask  
AA: what exactly are you trying to say  
TT: I am saying that if you are attempting to flirt with me, you shall have to try a good deal harder than that.

tentacleTherapist [TT] blocked apocalypseArisen [AA]

  
========  


"I thought you weren't going to track me down if I didn't want to be found."

"I lied," she says, shrugging easily. You can hardly make out her movements through the spark and crackle of deep red energy surrounding her in your vision.

"You didn't," you accuse, and her eyes narrow.

"No," she agrees. "I did mean it at the time."

"How very fickle we are," you murmur. "And now I suppose you've come to take advantage of my emotionally vulnerable state."

"If I wanted to take advantage of you, I could have done so at any time."

"So then what do you want?"

"I want you to draw your wands."

Your gaze flits to her hands -- empty -- then back to her face. "You think you can take me?" you ask.

"If anyone could, I can."

"God tier powers alone will not help you," you say. You turn. The denizen awaits.

"Rose," Aradia calls. You freeze in place, not entirely of your own volition. "It doesn't matter whether or not you want to do this. I will not let you meddle to this extent in the session of the new players. They need to win this for themselves."

"The nature of this final session is that they have aid from all previous sessions."

"Jane needs to bargain with Hemera herself. Surely you can see this. Don't take that from her."

A wry smile catches at your lips. "You think I'm selfish, then?"

"I think you've put a great deal of effort into preventing Dave from running into his brother in this timeline. I think that your friends would be happier if you'd respond to them for once, just to let them know that you're still alright, instead of arguing with me all the time. I think that you're explaining this lone howlbeast thing away as self-sacrifice when really you just don't want to admit to anyone how emotionally vulnerable you really are right now."

The light in your stomach turns to darkness, suddenly, churning and roiling. You close your eyes, and breathe. "And your meaning?"

"Yes, I think you're selfish."

You draw your wands.

  
==  


It's the little things that bother you, really.

The way Dave and Aradia both pause exactly thirty two seconds before moving on when they honestly expect a reply, yet only fourteen when they know you won't respond. (You've timed it. You've had precious little else to do.) The cocksure way they both hold themselves when bracing for an attack. The way they both care about everyone else in the world more than they care about themselves, although Aradia is nothing but open about this, while Dave will never let on.

The knowledge that she's stolen him from John and Jade.

The fear that she will do the same to you.

You draw your wands. She cocks her head to the side, stance easy, hands still held loose and open. You sense rather than see the smile spreading across her face.

You yell, skin crackling with light and heart brimming with darkness, and attack.

  
========  


"You should thank me," she says.

"Pray do elaborate," you say, leaning your head back against the soft ground. You feel curiously wrung out, empty. It is not altogether an unpleasant feeling. You could get used to this, if you would let yourself.

"I defeated you fair and square and now you'll never have to admit that you were wrong."

"You didn't defeat me," you murmur.

"Then you let me win," Aradia says, "but now you'll have to explain why it is you had a change of heart and allowed me to do so. Which way would you prefer it?"

You are grateful for the allowance, but it rankles. "I hope you don't think me an unworthy adversary."

"We shall have to have a rematch before that can be determined." She gets to her feet. "Come back with me," she says. "Dave misses you. We still have so much left to do. Much as I hate to admit it, we could use your help."

"So much to do, but nothing of import," you say.

"There's so much we can do from outside the session, if you could just distance yourself from your petty wants, you would see-"

You hold up a hand. "I will consider it."

"I'll leave you to lick your wounds in peace, then."

She retreats in a shimmering blur. You hate that she can read you so well - and Dave, you remind yourself, and after so little time. Are you both as transparent to everyone else as you seem to each other, or…?

You have been selfish. And frustrated and childish. You close your eyes (the light around you dims but does not dissipate) and reach out with your mind. There, ever-present, the strands of the future. You'd been disregarding their importance, as you had everything you could not manipulate directly. They slide easily under your gently ghosting touch.

There, Jane approaching with distinctive certainty. There, too, Aradia inevitably returning to Dave and a few of the other trolls on LOBAF. You can see John and Jade plotting on the Skaian battlefield with their own complement of trolls, and there the future splits and branches as their scheme pans out with varying degrees of success.

You grab these strands, winding them invisibly around your fingers like yarn, and pull, watching the future pan out before your eyes.


End file.
